Show Me The Light
by ItsAHopeForAllTheHopeless
Summary: A thousand emotions whirl through her brain as the man steps out of the shadows into the dim lamplight. A sob shudders through her body at the sight of the wild brown curls. It couldn't be it just wasn't possible she'd watched him die. This was a cruel dream and Annie wanted it to end.


**In which nothing makes sense, the Americans and Covert Affairs take place during the same time period. Details and back stories are changed and elements drawn from my other story Empty From The Start. Once again inspired by a Noah Gundersen song and the slight similarities between Richard Coyle and Matthew Rhys. Enjoy this story about nothing and everything.**

Show Me The Light

By Itsahopeforallthehopless

 _"Started Praying you'd find room for both of us in you're heart But the more I tried the more I'd find I could not pretend"_

To an outsider looking in the sullen boy in the background of the photograph would look like a bystander looking in. The focus solely on the beaming child holding the seashell. With every shot captured the older boy fades further and further into the background, Until one day he's simply gone without a trace.

The orders come on a clear morning, it's time to move on again. Many days have passed and the child no longer asks for the older boy. His mother weighs the options convincing herself that the it had been inevitable.

The boy had never been right in the head after the accident. It would be much easier and more inconspicuous to travel with only the child. So she boards the plane holding the squirming five year old close as possible. Breaking the ties was painless but the regrets linger haunting her until the day she dies.

* * *

Annie's hovering in that haze between consciousness where everything is distorted images. It takes her awhile to process through the fog and notice the man standing in the shadows.

Her heart tugs jumping to her throat at the eerily familiar stance of the man. "Simon?" She asks tentatively barely above a whisper. A thousand emotions whirl through her brain as the man steps out of the shadows into the dim lamplight.

A sob shudders through her body at the sight of the wild brown curls. It couldn't be it just wasn't possible she'd watched him die. This was a cruel dream and Annie wanted it to end.

But it wouldn't stop he just kept moving closer to her hospital bed. Annie clenched her eyes shut, this wasn't fair! Why must her mind punish her like this?.

He was so close now she could feel his breath on her face, He spoke in a rough whisper "So you were the girl worth dying for". Annie recoiled as the voice assaulted her ears a scream welling up in her throat, It wasn't Simon's voice!. Hysteria rose and she screamed for all she was worth.

Footsteps pounded down the hall and Auggie burst through the door. "Annie!, Annie! Are you alright" Auggie panted. Annie grabbed

Auggie shaking in terror. "Auggie, I thought Simon was here but it was some stranger" she sobbed. "I know" Auggie reassured her. "We saw it on the cameras too late". "We'll find out who he is, he won't get away" Auggie promised.

Annie took a deep breath, "Ok" she said. Twenty minutes minutes later Joan entered the room taking a seat next to Annie. "Annie, I'm sorry but he escaped." Joan said sighing. "Don't worry we'll find out who he is and we'll get him" she promised.

Annie nodded solemnly, "What do you think did he wanted?, He wasn't one of Lena's men otherwise I'd be dead" she inquired out loud. Joan pursed her lips into a frown, " I can't be certain the exact motive, but the morgue has reported that Simon Fischer's body was stolen,". "I have people on the ground monitoring all nearby transportation, The assumption is he'll be headed for Russia, But of course identifying him is key" Joan rambled on.

Annie tuned her out falling silent as the gears began to turn in her head. The stranger's actions were beginning to make sense. But something was still missing it was just dangling out of her reach.

Annie tried analyzed through her memories of Simon, she was about to give up. When she suddenly recalled seeing Simon hurriedly conceal an item in his bag when she'd entered the room. Later that evening Annie had crept out of bed and discovered the item to be a small worn photograph of two boys by the seaside.

She had been struck by the matching soul piercing blue eyes the boys had shared. Three words had been scrawled on the back Phillip, Simon, Nineteen eighty-two. That was it she had known all along. "Phillip" Annie burst out interrupting Joan.

Auggie and Joan turned towards Annie confusion written over their faces. "Who's Phillip" Auggie questioned. "Phillip!, that's his name" Annie said excitedly, "I think it was Simon's older brother".

* * *

 _"And I could not help but notice everything he is I ain't So I filled up every notebook I could put to my hand"_

After running away Philip had spent the years drifting from place to place doing missions for his government. It was a lonely existence with no real satisfaction, but it was in his blood and he knew of nothing else.

Phillip's on a mission in the far east when he thinks he sees his kid brother in the marketplace. Intrigued Phillip follows the young man to a small cafe, pushing his unspoken limits Phillip sits at a cafe table a few feet behind the young man who may or may not be his little brother.

The risk was well worth it as he is able to see the small birthmark behind the young man's ear. Phillip's suspicions were confirmed it was really Simon. Philip wants to leave but he's utterly fascinated in watching the charismatic young man glean artfully glean information from the asset.

Twenty years has passed in the blink of his eye and now his kid brother was all grown up. Phillip clenched his teeth as a crack formed in the wall of his emotions.

Seeing Simon grown up made him wonder what Merina would have been like as an adult. Grief began forming a tight vise around his neck. Phillip paid the waiter and fled the country. He went deep off the radar as far as he could. A week or so later he reemerged in control again.

These instances went on for many years as Simon and Philip traveled the world for varying missions. In the end Phillip had struggled too hard with his past to ever have a relationship with his brother.

Though he buried Simon next to Merina and their parents, It would still be added to the many wounds that had never healed.

" _Singing you to sleep and making you laugh,_

 _Gave me a reason to work on my craft,_

 _Now that I'm older I finally see_

 _You were the worst and the best thing that ever happened to me"_

* * *

 ** _1982_**

 _Phillip/Mikail: Age 15_

 _Simon: Age 5_

 ** _2012_**

 _Phillip/Mikail: Age 45_

 _Simon: Age 35_

 ** _TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO MERINA READ MY STORY EMPTY FROM THE START_**

 _Song credit Noah Gundersen Show Me The Light_


End file.
